Burned
by amandapoupou
Summary: How must it feel to be hated by the one you love? Everyone who plays with fire is bound to get burned, and it takes a seventh year full of pranks, romance, and jealousy for them all to realize it. Only...for some it may just be too late. Includes James, Lily, Sirius, Remus, Frank, Alice, and a whole lot of ships between them.
1. Starts With A Bang

"Padfoot?" The young messy-haired boy frowned up at the ceiling, calling softly to his friend. The friend in question was young Sirius Black, laying in the bed across the room. He was staying at his best friend's manor for Christmas break, unable to deny the request that he do so. Sirius, or Padfoot's, home life was not the coziest and he was treated better whenever he stayed with the Potters.

James Potter, the boy who had spoken, sighed before his friend answered. "Do you think she'll ever be with me?"

"Who?" Sirius laughed, his messy curls falling away from his face. Though James could not see it, his companion rolled his eyes. "Evans?"

"Yeah!" Though James was a mere thirteen years old, he had his heart set on a young red-haired beauty. Lily Evans, the smartest witch of their they were in the Gryffndor House at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry along with their other friends. There was only one problem.

"She hates you, mate," Padfoot couldn't help but feel like he was kicking a puppy as the words left his mouth. How must it feel to be hated by the one you loved? Sirius doubted he would ever know. Despite the rejection, James kept persevering which Sirius had to admire.

"I know, I know! But...that could change!" He gestured wildly to the ceiling, "We're only thirteen for Merlin's sake! We have our whole lives ahead of us!" The young boy's head was full of imagination, and not all of it was innocent. James was a thirteen year old boy, after all.

"Exactly! Prongs, you're thirteen! You could stop 'loving' her," he gestured quotes to the ceiling as well, "next year!"

James sighed, resting his hands on his chest. "I'm never going to stop loving Lily Evans...not even after the day I die. We'll have lived a long happy life together, with three kids! And a home by the ocean!"

Sirius laughed, used to his friend's denial by now. "Just as long as I'm Godfather."

"Moony will be too," James sighed.

The door to the room opened, revealing James's older mother. "Boys, go to bed! You've both got a big day tomorrow, get some sleep." She shut the door with feaux glares to both of them and both boys rolled over and closed their eyes.

"Night Padfoot."

"Goodnight Prongs."  
_

The day was hot and sticky, unusual this time of year. I wiped my bangs away from my sweaty forehead, hauling my trunk towards the train. I was determined to get there before my parents had a chance to make it through. It was ridiculous, yes, but I couldn't help it. I was sixteen going on seventeen, and I'd been a model daughter all of my teenage years. Until now.

"Lily! Lily Irene Evans!" I shuddered as I heard my mother using my full name. My middle name was a source of pain for me, though I dearly loved the grandmother for whom I was named after. She died when I was five, but I still visited her grave from time to time. Anyways, I was gunning for the train to my escape full-throttle when I knocked into a very large barrier.

Stunned, a tiny squeak escaped my mouth as I stumbled backwards. The barrier turned out to be a person, who turned out to be the last person I wanted to see at the moment.

"'Ello, Evans," Potter winked, grabbing my forearm to steady me. I couldn't hold in my groan as he seemed to slide into his usual 'charming' routine. "You should be more careful; you could hurt yourself."

It was the heat of the moment, and I was still trying to escape my parents, so I didn't have the time for our usual hindrances. "James, please get out of the way I need to-"

Alas, I had not been quick enough. I felt my father's hand before I heard his voice. "Lily Evans, don't you _ever_ pull that stunt again! You're sixteen years old, not two! I…" For just about two seconds I felt relief that Potter was actually in my vicinity, but it quickly turned to regret when I realized Dad had not only noticed James, but had zeroed in on his hand. Which was still around my arm. I felt my uncontrollable blush creeping its way into my cheeks.

"Who are _you?_" I liked to think of my dad as scary, what with his weathered face and orange scruff. If I had been Potter, I'd have turned and run the other way. But no, the fool just stood there, staring at my dad like he was in a daze.

Finally he blinked and answered in a thoughtful voice. "I'm James." He cleared his throat, "James Potter, sir."

"I see." My dad was on the police force, and had a way of intimidating people with a single look. The same look he just happened to be giving Potter right now. My mother, on the other hand, seemed to have forgotten about my wrongdoings and was staring at James thoughtfully, twirling her blonde hair between her fingertips. I wanted to hide my face in my hands and stay that way for the rest of eternity.

"Is there a reason you're holding my daughter?" I could practically hear the unnecessary testostorone bubbling.

"She ah, she bumped into me. I was…helping her." Potter's eyes flickered to me and I had to use all my power not to roll my eyes. It took a lot.

I decided to clean up this train wreck and get the show on the road. I brushed Potter's hand off of mine just as his partners in crime showed up. Sirius Black and Remus Lupin sprinted to their friend's side, causing my dad's eyes to widen.

"Er, sorry to bother you sir, we just-" Remus, ever the gentleman, was trying to be polite. But I didn't have time to be polite and the train's warning whistle gave me the perfect excuse. "Mum, Dad, we have to go. I really am sorry for what I did, but she'll get over it! I love you, okay? We don't wanna be late."

I turned to Sirius, who was now standing closest to my trunk. "Help me with my bags, B- Sirius?" The little shit grinned and gave a half bow, "Sure thing, Picalily."

I noticed my dad and Potter tense, but brushed it off and put my hands on Remus and Potter's backs, pushing them towards the train. "Okay, let's go, go, go. Bye dad, mom; love you guys!"

Sirius seemed to be wilting under the weight of my trunk and I grinned as I sped the three of them away. "Too heavy for you, Black?"

"No way." He gritted his teeth, "What the fuck do you keep in here? Bricks?"

I noticed Potter staring at me, so I stared right back with a raised eyebrow. "Is there a problem, Mr. Potter?"

"Why are you talking to us?" He blurted, and I watched as his cheeks lightly colored. Potter ran a hand through his messy onyx hair, eyes darting away. He seemed…different this year. Something had changed, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"I had to get away from my parents," I shrugged, deciding on the truth. "I didn't mean to run into you, but you distracted my parents so…" I had to pretty much choke the words out, "Thanks, James." I blinked, realizing I'd said his first name again. I usually only reserved that for our full-blown arguments. He noticed it too.

"Well…I suppose you're welcome. After all, who wouldn't want to be saved by the infamous James Potter?" He grinned cockily, and I rolled my eyes as his usual attitude washed over him.

"Infamous is a bad thing to be," I commented, before taking my trunk from Sirius. I lifted it onto the steps of the train, glancing behind me. "I'm sad to say I won't be seeing much of you all since I'll be living in the Head quarters. Farewell, lads."

"What? But you will be seeing us? Or at least me…seeing as I'm a Head this year too." I almost laughed, but I turned to face Potter in the corridor.

"Nice try, Potter."

"It's true! Didn't they tell you? I was too irresistible to pass up for the job!" I rolled my eyes and opened the door to an empty compartment.

"Yeah right. McGonagall would rather die than make you a Head!" With that I turned and slid the door closed.

"I resent that!" He called through the door, and I heard Sirius laugh.

"And I resent _you!_ Goodbye now!" I slid into my seat, listening as I heard the three of them walk away, Remus and Black laughing at Potter. I sighed as I stared out the window, watching the scenery slowly speed up. At least my seventh year had started with a bang.


	2. Meet and Greet

My friends soon tracked me down, busting into my empty compartment. Marley was my best girl friend, and we were often referred to as the Twins. We were both 5'6", only she had curly light blonde hair, unlike I, who had a darkish red color. Our eyes were both green, except mine were more of a grey-green than her sparkly light ones.

She'd dragged her boyfriend in, Frank Longbottom. Frank and I got along well, the both of us being prefects. He was an easygoing guy, who always knew how to listen. When they entered I got up to hug the both of them as we exchanged greetings. I'd slept over Marley's house for a week in the summer, but otherwise I'd barely seen her. Frank, she, and I met up in Diagon Alley right before we'd gotten our letters; just to hang out. That time I'd felt more like a third wheel than a part of the group, but I didn't really mind.

"I missed you! We pretty much never go to see each other!" Marley kissed me on the cheek, leaving a sticky print on my cheek from her lipgloss. She always wore makeup, though not much. It was just enough to accent her beauty, but still more than the usual eyeliner I wore. We differed at our style; I preferred sweatshirts and plaid while she preferred skirts and flashy dresses.

"I know, I know! It was practically torture!" I laughed, feeling happier, reminiscent of our good times over the past three years.

"So?" Marley prompted, searching my chest. I knew what she was looking for, trying to hide my grin. I hadn't sent her a letter, wanting to tell her in person. At the start of August I'd received the usual supply list from Hogwarts as well as a letter from the Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore. I'd been appointed Head Girl, an achievement I was pretty proud of. Last year I'd moved out of sixth year at the top of my class, with Potter in third and a girl named Emile Sanders in second.

I thought back to Potter's words earlier and wondered if it was true. Could he really be Head Boy? I hoped to God he wasn't. "I'm Head Girl!" I squealed, hugging her. We jumped up and down in our own celebration, Frank watching us with an amused smile.

"Who's Head Boy?" He asked, situating himself across from Marley and me's seats. I sprawled down across the bench, my feet resting in Marley's lap. "I dunno, but I'll find out. I have a meeting with McGonagall and the new Head Boy in like...half an hour. Then when I get to the castle I have to visit Dumbledore." I sighed, staring out the window. This was my seventh year, my _last _year attending a magical school that had become a second home for me. I wondered what would change.

"I..." If they found out about my pleasant encounter with James fucking Potter, they'd hound me all about it for ages. Having a civil conversation with him was like Hell freezing over, and it'd probably feed the fire of rumors that I liked him. Which I didn't. Potter's an arrogant bully, who does nothing but cause trouble and break girl's hearts. "I have no idea. Could be anybody."

The next half hour was spent catching up, until it was time for me to go. Usually Frank and I would've been with the prefects from the get-go, but he'd asked to be relieved of his duties. I left the two lovebirds alone, glad I'd escaped just before the makeout session had begun. I was practically skipping down the hall, unnecessarily giddy. That was until a rude Slytherin roughly pushed past me, almost causing me to fall over. I glared at him, brushing off my robes. I figured I should change into them before the meeting, but this red-haired boy still hadn't changed into his.

"You should change," I said coldly, turning to continue my path. My feet had only taken me a few steps when he spat out a reply.

"I don't take advice from _mudbloods." _I flinched but kept walking, my mood beginning to darken. When I reached the desired compartment everyone else was already there. Including Potter.

"Sorry I'm late, I had a er, run-in with a Slytherin." I avoided Potter eye's, standing in front of Mcgonagall stiffly. She nodded, seemingly unconcerned. I took the seat next to Potter, trying to swallow my shock. _How could he be Head Boy? He hadn't even been a prefect for fuck's sake! _

"As both of you know, you two have been appointed as the Head Boy and Head Girl for your seventh year. I must admit I was not shocked to hear that you had been chosen Miss Evans," Professor Mcgonagall smiled warmly at me. "You, on the other hand, Mr. Potter, was quite a surprise."

Potter laughed lightly, "To you and me both, Minnie."

Mcgonagall rolled her eyes, clearing her throat. "You'd do well not to address me as such, Potter. Moving on, you both should understand that you will be expected to patrol the halls after curfew, plan the balls and dances of this school year, and live together in your co-educational dormitories." She paused, looking at the two of us over her glasses. I felt conflicted about this year, doubting it could go well if Potter and I were in such close proximities. Potter seemed to be excited, almost leaning forward in his chair. "Knowing your histories, I have the feeling that you will have difficulties getting along. _If _you cannot behave as Heads should, you _will _be returned to your former statuses, is that understood?"

"Yes, ma'am," we mumbled in unison. I wanted to stick my tongue out, the thought of living with Potter almost sickening.

She continued to stare for a moment or two, making me shift in my seat. "That will be all," She pursed her lips. "I wish you both the best of luck. Merlin knows you're going to need it."

I exhaled deeply and got up, Potter following close behind me. "This year should be fun. Eh, Evans?"

I ignored him and kept walking, wanting to get back to my compartment as soon as possible. My chest felt like it was tightening and I clenched my fists. I was beginning to get anxious about this year. I took deep breaths as I walked, blocking everyone else out. This year was going to be perfectly fine, right?

Right...?

Wrong.


	3. Settling In

When I was little, my mother used to tuck me in each night with a bedtime story. I'd clutch the soft, silky bear my father had given me and snuggle into the pillows as she read. It made me feel safe. As the years passed, I got fewer and fewer stories, but I never let go of the bear. I came to realize that it was he who made me feel safe, and from the time I was little until now he was my security.

At the age of twelve I was diagnosed with Panic Disorder. It didn't usually manifest so early in age, but it was still late enough in my life to occur. Over the past five years I'd had six panic attacks, which are very unpleasant let me tell you. Though my mother was reluctant I was put on antidepressent medication, which seemed to help. The medication was not a cure unfortunately, but it did allow me to overcome many of the obstacles of Panic Disorder.

I was told that I'd most likely be unproductive, and later unemployed in life. Relationships of pretty much any kind were foretold to be difficult for me. Even as a little girl I was stubborn, so when I was told all this I just used it as more motivation to study and do my work to the best of my ability and I tried to be kind to anyone I met, hoping to make friends and prove the doctors wrong. I refused to be a failure like they predicted, not if I could help it.

James Potter was a different story when it came to relationship. After I was diagnosed in second year, he became all the more infuriating to me. My friendship with Snape was the closest I had to anyone ever, and Potter would come to try to muck everything up. I admit the loyalness I'd had to him was misplaced, but I didn't regret our friendship. We turned out to be different people, but we'd started out together as one and the same. The end of our fifth year at Hogwarts was the second to last time I'd had a panic attack. I had cut the ties of my withering friendship with Severus and everything seemed to be falling apart.

A friend I'd been getting close to for about the past year had found me, and our friendship grew unbreakable on that day. Marley Mckinnon has been my best friend ever since, and I owe her everything for it. Though she seemed to be the girlier out of the two of us, she could really pack a punch. I don't know where I'd be without her.

Having said all this, it must make sense that I was beginning to become extremely nervous as I followed my Head of House to my new dormitory. The meeting with Dumbledore had been brief and slightly repetitive, we'd had twenty minutes to eat and now McGonagall was laying down the rules of our new housing. We'd share another Common Room, as well as a bathroom. Our rooms would be on the same floor as the Common Rooms, as the Head Boy and Girl should be trusted not to do anything inappropriate to each other while they slept.

Potter was walking beside me, unusually quiet. I wanted my last year here to be the best out of all, and he was the one standing in the way of that. If he could just stop acting so childish, so immature ; I think he could be tolerable. This being my seventh year, I could settle for tolerable.

"If you take a picture it'll last longer," he said, jarring me from my thoughts. I blinked, realizing McGonagall was a few feet ahead of us now. He was smirking, and I could feel my face heating up.

"I wouldn't want to break the camera," I replied sarcastically, rolling my eyes. Potter's eyebrows raised, making me want to smile. Usually I was not so snidely, not so early in the year, but I wasn't in the mood to play games this year.

"Fiesty," he recovered, winking at me. "I like a girl with some spunk."

The urge to laugh was irresistible and I threw my head back, filling the corridor with laughter. "You did not just say that," I giggled.

Potter smiled at me and I realized I was smiling back. The smile disappeared from my face and I glanced out one ot the windows. I shouldn't be laughing with James Potter; I hated him for fuck's sake. Where were our usual rows? Some of them had taken me close to attacks, so I shouldn't miss them and I didn't. The lack of them made me suspicuous, though.

Then again, hadn't I felt like Potter had changed in some way? Maybe he'd finally moved on from me, like I always knew he would. I deliberated this, glancing at him as we continued to walk. His tufty black hair was as messy as usual, and he still stood a good four inches taller than me. The way he walked seemed to have changed though. It was more subdued; like there was less of air about him.

I frowned at the ground, wanting to shake my head. Was I really considering talking to him? I couldn't just forget all the bullying and misdemeanors from the past, but maybe I could just try to over look them slightly? I think a truce between us could maybe benefit the both of us...

"Here we are," McGonagall stopped us both in front of a small tapestry with the Hogwarts Crest emboldening it. We were just about a corridor down from Gryffndor Tower, so it would be easy to visit the others. She pulled away the tapestry and tapped the wall behind it with her wand. It melted away to reveal the door to our dormitories. I stepped in, excited as I caught view of the fireplace and the couch. Something about the independence appealed to me.

"I'll leave you two to unpack. Your two wands are the only two able to unlock the wall," she pursed her lips, "I imagine that won't stop you from bringing guests." At this point Potter smiled sheepishly. "Tomorrow I'll be giving you the schedules for fifth year and above. Both of you will be expected to hand them out as the other students eat, so I suggest you get to breakfast earlier than they do." Mcgonagall seemed to relax now, her shoulders slumping slightly. "Congratulations to you both. To have both Heads from my house..."

I glanced at the ground, a blush creeping onto my cheeks. "Well I'll leave you to it." Professor Mcgonagall left the room and we stood awkardly across from each other. My mind was a string of shouldisayitshoukdidoit and I held my elbow. Potter ran his fingers through his hair and turned toward the bedroom on the left. "Po-James!"

Stunned, he turned back around to face me. I could tell he was confused and I almost grinned. "Lily?" Potter asked tentatively. I felt my toes curl as it fell from his lips and I blushed harder. "I..." I really didn't want to regret this. "I think we should be...friends."

Friends seemed to be the best thing to aim for. They didn't have to talk all the time, and they were allowed to be arses to each other if need be. I was hoping he'd lay off me, not just on flirting but with the whole thing. I'd kept my secret from everyone in this school but Severus, Marley, and the teachers and I intended to keep it that way. People would think less of me if they knew.

The shock on his face made work not to laugh; it was almost cartoonish. Potter's eyes were wide and his mouth seemed to be hanging open slightly. I shifted my weight a few times, my cheeks surely red by now. I walked a few feet towards the room on the right, now holding both of my elbows. "It was a stupid idea, sorry." My hair created a shield as I stared at the grey carpet. "Um, good night, I guess."

"Wait! Lily!" Potter called out just as my hand twisted the knob. I sighed and turned my head to face him, face blazing. He was smiling like an excited two-year old. "I think that's a good idea."

I forced a small smile to my face and said softly, "Okay."

It was getting late and I still had to unpack my trunk, so I hurried into the room leaning against the door when I shut it. The room wasn't all that different from my old dorm; the only added things were a small bookcase and a desk pushed against the wall next to the door. All the walls were stone and the rug that covered most of the floor was black. The small furnace was in the corner next to the desk. There was a larger window under the bed and across from that wall was the black desk and bookcase.

I began unpacking, stowing my lacier panties and nightdresses at the bottom of the chest at the foot of my bed. If James Potter weren't the one in the room next to mine, then maybe they could've had a higher placing, but I honestly didn't trust him or his little group of 'Marauders' not to steal them. I let my bear rest on the pillows, since I would need him soon.

By the time I had everything placed it was almost ten, so I changed into my sweatpants and camisole and climbed into bed. The room seemed to be too empty; I was used to four other girls in the dorm at Hogwarts or at least the family cat Jazz at home. I tried to remember the spell I'd read in a Healing book. It gave the illusion of some comforting element to the patient.

Just as I was about to start shaking from the unnecessary fear, I rememebered. Raising my wand, I whispered, "Confortaris," into the black. My heart calmed its speeds as I heard waves I knew weren't there. They brought me back to when my family would take us to America and we'd stay in a cottage on the beach. My older sister Petunia and I would play in the water for hours. But that was a long time ago. Tucking my bear under my arm, I turned to lay on my side.

I drifted off to sleep, playing with the ends of my hair, falling into memories of better times. Times where I was unaware of prejudices and the ongoing war against Voldemort. A lot of people, including muggleborns like myself, feared him to the point of being afraid to say his name; as if it was a jinx. I was not one of those people. Though I was not always a part of the wizarding world, I did always have people to fear. I never saw the point in not saying his name; it didn't make the threat of him less. My mother always said I was stubborn as a mule, but as wise an owl. I'd tell her owls weren't wise and she'd laugh.

I'd never been one to hide the truth, and I didn't plan to start soon, especially with a tyrant on the rise.


End file.
